E-mail Forwards.

My favorite part of the day happens when I'm sitting at work and a little pop up in the right bottom corner of my screen telling me I have an e-mail. Most of the time they are stupid faxes or e-mailed from fellow co-workers with things that I need to do. I love the e-mails that are funny forwards. Here is one that I got from Lindsee today. I thought it was hilarious because its so unbelievably true! I am going to bold the ones that I think most relate to me ha ha. Enjoy!

RANDOM THOUGHTS OF THE DAY

• I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.


• More often then not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.


• Nothing sucks more than that moment in an argument when you realize you're wrong.


• I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented a lighter? (ha ha)


• Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding are thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.


• I totally take back all those times I didn't wanna nap when I was younger.


• The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all to apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work e-mail with the phrase "Regards" again.


• Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no Internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.


• There is a great need for a sarcasm font.


• Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no Idea what the f*** was going on when I first saw it.


• I think everyone has a movie that they love so much; it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone is laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it. (FOOLS RUSH IN)


• How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?


• I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand then take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.


• I think part of a best friends' job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.


• The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.


• A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.


• Was learning cursive really necessary?


• "LOL" has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".


• I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.


• Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.


• My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Because we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.


• Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".


• How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?


• I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!


• While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it... thanks Mario Kart!


• MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
  
• Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.


• I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.


• Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.


• I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.


• Bad decisions make good stories (ha ha- Paige- po po shut us down)


• Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do! :)


• Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
  
• Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from; this shouldn't be a problem...

• You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
  
• Can well all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
  
• There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
  
• I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
  
• "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this, ever.
  
• I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
  
• While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.
  
• I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd ya do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away??
  
• I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
  
• When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light Internet stalking.
  
• I like all of the music on my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
  
• Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
  
• As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drives, but no matter what mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
  
• Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still no know what time it is.
  
• It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
  
• I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
  
• I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.
  
• Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what to do with it.
  
• Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey- but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
  
• My 4 year old son asked me in the car the other day, "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
  
• It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
  
• I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
  
• I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
  
• I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
  
• The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There is nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

I thought all of these things were way funny, and I'm sure at one point in your life you have thought these exact things :) hope you enjoyed it! Can't wait for Halloween! Love you all <3

Always an Adventure at Wally-World

It seems like every time my friends and I go to Wal-mart it is always an adventure. Something always happens to one of us and its usually either me or Bre. (lol) Last night (9/22/09) we went to Wal-mart to get some odds and ends and funny things kept happening.

First off, I'm one of the most awkward people I know. Not around people I know of course but around new people especially boys I just can't seem to act normal. Well I think I'm rubbing off on Paige in a way. Lindsee forgot her wallet at home and asked if one of us could pay for her. I had already checked out and the cashier had already scanned all of Lindsee's stuff. Paige volunteered to pay for Lindsee's stuff as long as she would pay her back when we got home. The cashier was just staring at us funny and I couldn't figure out why. Paige couldn't either so she got on her phone and started txting someone and then after about 30 seconds (which seemed like forever) Lindsee noticed that the cashier was waiting for someone to pay for the stuff. Lindsee told Paige the cashier was waiting and Paige went bright red. It might not seem that funny to you if you weren't there. But if you know Paige it was pretty funny. She actually went as red as I do (maybe even a little worse- I blame it on the Rosacea).

As we were walking out to the car reminiscing about all the funny things that had happened that night the girls started loading everything in the trunk of Bre's 2001 Dodge Neon (much like the one above). I of course wasn't helping because I was still distraught over what had happened with me earlier but we don't need to talk about that. Anyway, Bre has her keys on a lanyard (the kind we all used to have in middle school with our lunch cards on the end) the lanyard has a clip(exactly like the black clip on this lanyard) so that you can snap your keys off if you need to. Well as Bre was shutting her trunk she got the lanyard stuck 1/2 in 1/2 out of the trunk. So when I saw her freaking out I'm thinking "What the heck its just stuck you can pull it out!" so I run over and yank on the lanyard and hear the snap break. Bre screamed, "Ashlee no!!" When I pulled it out I was all "dude it didn't break, we are golden!" When I look at the lanyard I realize that the keys aren't on that side. Meaning they must be stuck... IN THE TRUNK.

Right before we had gotten out of the car I told everyone to lock their doors (cuz the car isn't automatic lock). Luckily Lindsee didn't listen to this because her door was the only one that wasn't locked. Bre was panicking and I was all, "Bre calm down we can just pop the trunk!" Well apparently in Dodge Neons they don't have a 'trunk pop button'. Weird right? So Bre pushes a button on the back seat to get into the trunk. When they get the seat down the trunk is cram packed with junk! About 5 minutes later we hear Bre say OOH I GOT THEM. It was hilarious. I couldn't believe that she shut her keys in the trunk. That kind of thing will only ever happen to Bre.

I love my friends. They mean the world to me. We have had so much fun being together and for the past month they have been there for me every day. I love them and can't wait to blog about many more adventures we will have together.

Camping and such.

Sheesh, it has been so long since I've blogged that I don't even know what to write about. I feel like lately my life has been semi boring, and I can't remember any of the super funny things that have happened. I will try to catch you up on some stuff that I've been doing lately though.

For the past month or so Lindsee and I have been watching the OC. I LOVE THAT SHOW. Its the best, I think I live my life vicariously through all the characters. Anyway, I watched at least 3 episodes a day. I finally got done with the third season a week ago and I hardly watched the 4th season because it sucked. I really was so sad with how it ended. Marissa was great. I have an obsession with 'tv box sets'. I own all of the Friends seasons (which is by far the best tv show ever) and then some random ones. I went to Borders the other day and bought 2 seasons of Desperate Housewives because I had a coupon. Haha my mother was mad at me for 'wasting my money'.

Well moving on with my monthly events. Bre and I went camping with my parents the other weekend, I had an amazing time (hopefully Bee did too). We went to a camp site right next to the Cub River in Idaho. The camp site was really cool, we were right next to the river. Someone had moved a bunch of rocks in the river so that there was a little 'pool' area where the dogs could get in an swim. Sadie loved running into the water and getting a drink even though it was freezing cold water.

[[Here is a pic of the pool area]]

Chloe got REALLY dirty up there. She was rolling around in the dirty with Sadie slobber on her so we threw her into the water and made her swim back to us. She was freezing, but it was cute :). When I picked her up out of the water she was still swimming, haha poor dog didn't know what had just happened to her. Well after all of the water fun we had dinner and sat around the fire for a while. It was fun to just relax.

[[Here I'm cuddling with Chloe after the river experience]]

While we were setting up camp we had to put the kids in their cages because they were running around wild and my mom was scared that they would run away. Chloe made sure that everyone knew how bad she hated being in her cage. She barked the entire time she was in there. (No wonder I never got her crate trained)

[[Coco and Chloe]]

All in all though I think the dogs had fun. Sadie loved having Chloe and Coco's company. After dinner and relaxing my parents got out their favorite game ever. Rummikub. We played for an hour and then had to put it away because there were too many moths flying about. If you have ever met me and my mom you know how scared we are of moths. I hate those things. We had a lantern out and they were flying everywhere so Dave, my step father, grabbed the biggest one he could and threw it at my mom. She got mad but didn't really do anything about it, a couple minutes after that happened she screamed bloody murder and said she could feel it down her shirt. Haha. She was so upset about them flying around her head that she pulled her hood on and tied it as tight as she could. Here is a picture.....

[[I love my mother haha]]

After the moth incident she wasn't in the best of moods so we all started to get ready to go to bed. Bre pulled out her portable DVD player and puts on Sex and the City. Our camping experience was pretty rough if you couldn't tell. But all in all we had a blast and I wish we could do it again-- but its getting to be too cold outside.

Here are some pictures from the trip though :)

Next blog I'm going to have to write about going to Rexburg to see my Aunts cute baby :)